The Shits 2 ( Disturbing Incident Pt.1)

This is a continuation of The Shits (Disturbing Events Pt. 1) and any or all reference should be made to that blog.

Undaunted by the fact that the whole class by now knew of his misdeed, Tattoo with all the bravado afforded to one guided by an IQ of that of a rotten stump got up, flipped a birdie to those close to him (including me unfortunately, thus signalling that we WERE friends) and made a beeline for the dirty shithole we knew to be the damn toilet.

Once there the silly geezer locked himself in a stall and then proceeded to hatch what he believed to be a dastardly plan. Firstly he had to evade all the classes that would be using the toilet as a changing room for P.E and secondly he needed to avoid the crowd that would be pouring in during recess which was around the corner. All this so he could wash his shit soaked underwear in the washbasin without being seen......

So like a ninja full of stealth but akin to a lemming on acid Tattoo sneaks in and out of the stall running to the basin and washing his granny briefs and his gunny sack pants clear of shit while evading P.E bound students who wonder what creature has died in the toilet but alas to no avail as the foul smelling substance has by now eaten into the very fibers. In the end legend has it that certain corrosive paint stripper had to be used....

But back to the story dear readers. For now Tattoo had realised that it would be a cold day in hell before he could actually clean out his abused clothes. So he sat in the stall formulating his next dastardsly plan and came up with.....NOTHING......c'mon lets face it, during those days he was no friggin' Einstein aight'.....

Anyways whilst all this thinking is going on it so happens recess comes along and with it a gaggle of students into the toilet. Among them Tattoo hears a familiar voice, that of a prefect known in here as S.Baba. Following i have attached their conversation.

Tattoo : S. Baba is that you?
S.Baba : Tattoo you silly cunt, where have you been ?
Tattoo : In the toilet all this while dude, kinda shat meself....
S.Baba : Man you are such a loser....you even left shit nuggets on the chair you bastard...
Tattoo : Oh my Lord God..! Ok i need some help man....
S.Baba : As long as its not wiping your ass, anything bro.....
Tattoo : Ok then go to the office and tell them to call me mom or the national guard to come
rescue me. Then come back and inform me what time any of them can come get me...
S.Baba : Dude no problem. Will come back with some updates.

Now unfortunately S.Baba had the memory span of a packet of spaggetti o's and as soon as he had stepped out of the bathroom the arse forgot that he had a task at hand. Now Tattoo did not know this and the poor sod sat there and waited for what was an eternity after recess had ended and finally it dawned upon him that S.Baba was not coming back. So like the stoic dimwit that he is so fondly remembered as he puts on his soiled bottoms and marches to the office and asks for permission to leave the school grounds to head back home.

Now the office people in charge will have nothing of the sort and need some sort of proof that he has shat himself to ridiculous proportions that will warrant them to letting this little fellow go back. So Tattoo turns around and the whiff from ground zero proceeds to melt off part of his nose and the view of it burns off part off his cornea as the officer screams in agony.

Minutes later Tattoo is on his way out.......

To be continued.......