The days are numbered

Today I was driving around in one of my recently acquired automobiles. This particular one is about as old as I am. I still feel that it has the potential to be a true classic icon but my comrades seem to think that it's a piece of junk. What do they fucking know, those turds. Constantly taking the piss because my car doesn't come with power steering. Power steering are for wankers, weaklinks who can't fuckin lift a needle without feeling pain. I should take the needle and prick their fuckin pussies. bastards. Your days are numbered. I have many a devious schemes planned while being in solitary confinement for more than half my tenure behind bars.

As I was saying, I was driving around, and pulled up at a petrol kiosk to buy some... power steering fluid. No, you dumb schmucks, why would i want power steering fluid. If you thought i did, i ought to kick you in your nuts. dimwits... anyway, whatever the reason i pulled up at the petrol kiosk is none of your business, but if you must know, it was to buy some top-up reload for my mobile phone. Ever since my blog was blacklisted and shut down, the damn authorities had my name blacklisted with the telcos and also with the banks. Now i'm forced to carry my cash by the stacks with me, wherever i go. Fucking cumbersome. Blacklist me?? bastards... your days are numbered too.

So as i was heading back to my car, some suthernai (dog's arse) is drooling over my car. At least he knows a classic when he sees one. I call him a suthernai because he's drooling like a dog, dripping his saliva inches away from my vehicle. On top of that he has the face of an asshole. Then as I'm about to get into my car, that son-of-a-gun Suthernai, proceeds to make hand signals as to say "No, don't get in". He then yells, "kejap bro, nak ambik gambar, nak ambik gambar!" and starts jumping up and down like a freakin jungle monkey. I think at one point, he did sniff his bum, and scratch his head, and lick his feet at the same time. This already pisses the fuck out of me, and just as i'm about to kick him in the groin, he says, "Nak Jue ke? Nak Jue... Jue la..." Now, this, to all you tossers who doesn't know what he means, he asking me if I want to sell it, but he breaks out into some thick Kelantanese accent, which in malay means Jual.

For fuck sake, I ain't selling you my ride, you fuck. "Fuck off", I say, to which he is completely and utterly clueless as to what i'm telling him. He replies, "Nak Jue ke, jue la..." and gave me his name card. Because I was taking anger management therapy classes, I kept my cool, and got into my car, and drove off, while running over his feet in the process. Accident la you fuck.

Later, i whipped out his car. It read Lan Pet Pet, Resident Artis. How fucking dumb can you be, to give me Sangalli Vethamani your card. The worst mistake in your life. I will haunt you and make your life a living hell. You will feel my presence, but you will not see me. I come like the thief in the night... your days are numbered.

Jiwang dei....